The Animal, Part II:
After extricating ourselves from da UP peat, we decided to make a run down to Gould City. Gould City is remarkable as it’s on US 2 with all the amenities – it has a GAS, a BAR, and an EAT. In da UP, you don’t need branding – all folks need to know is what you have to sell. Gould City was a mecca in this respect – they even had a blinker light! There wasn’t another light until the Blaney Park intersection – and there was nothing there.
Anyway, my UP friends were havin’ a party on the Lake Michigan beach south of Gould CIty. We went down dere to hang out on da beach.
We get dere (sorry – da Yooper in me is comin’ back, eh?) and a bunch of my friends is dere. Kelly, Duane and da entire Newberry HS football team is knockin’ back beers, They toss us a bunch, an’ before ya know it, da Animal is on the hood of his car, acting like a chimp.
“Hey! You gotta drive da beach, man!” There’s a long arc of sand going to da point tree miles down – but – you gotta jump da crick to get to da beach. Da Newberry boys was eggin’ on da Animal sumpthin’ firece.
Animal hops in da Pinto, fires it up and mats the da gas. He hits da dune by da crick at about 30 -flies about halfway trew da air before landing nose first in da crick. Speed is his friend; he manages to get to da udder side before his car stops.
He gets about a mile down before decidin’ dis might not be a good idear. He then starts to back up – into the surf of the Mighty Michigan. He gets stuck. No forward – only backward. He keeps backin’ on up, tryin’ to gain de traction. No good. He stops only when he can see da surf – IN FRONT OF HIS CAR.
At dis point, he’s a good fifty yards into da lake. Da water is at his hatch in da rear, and at his bumper in da front. He opens da door just as a breaker hits, washing into da car. Water is seat deep at dis point.
Da footballers come to his aid; we put four on da front and four on da rear and one on each wheel well. Dey pick up da car and carry it back to da beach, where da Animal bails out all da water (dere was BUNCHES of water!) and we leave as da Animal was all embarrassed and shit.
Up next: AIr and death.
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